2am

The loudest quiet ever is 2am.
When you’re lying there;
eyes squeezed shut, wishing
the phone would ring. Wishing
you were not in bed alone. Wishing
2am was not so loud that it kept keeping you awake.

The brightest darkness occurs at 2am.
When dazzling light appears;
from behind your eyelids shining
so brightly you can’t sleep. Shining
the dull façade of heartache. Shining
the dark of night to the glare of noon, keeping you awake.

The most enthusiastic sadness happens at 2am.
When despair captures you;
and visits upon you its willing
victim, tears and fears. Willing
you to wallow in sorrow. Willing
you to relinquish optimism and hope while keeping you awake.

Hold on…with the morning comes renewal.

© Sharon J. All Rights Reserved 2008

Remember

Remember when we used to talk on the phone all night
neither of us wanting to hang up
Remember when
Remember when we both said the same thing, at the same time
and we laughed loud about it for several minutes
Remember when
Remember when you would send me text messages in the morning just to say hi, and during the day we would email for no reason at all
Remember when
Remember when you shared your dreams with me and i shared my pains with you and together we found something new
Remember when
Remember when we dreamed of our meeting, with precise details and wrote a story about it so we wouldn't forget
Remember when
Remember when we first kissed under a white moon, on a dark night, blessed with every constellation
Remember when
Remember when we held hands and then you pulled my hand to yours and softly kissed it's insides
Remember when
Remember when i leaned in close because i was drawn to you like moths to fire, bees to honey to inhale that lovely scent you possess
Remember when
Remember when we lay next to each other, your arms wrapped around me, my legs encasing you, your eyes on me, my mouth on you until day turned to night and then again
Remember when
Remember when i told you all of my fears, and you shared all of your pain and together we vowed to stay...in hope and faith
Remember when
Remember when i cried when you left and you cried when i came and together we cried, we felt...the same
Remember when i saw in your soul a place for me and we acknowledged that place and planned to be together forever
Remember when
Remember when we took the vow, of love forever, and smiled and danced like forever, surrounded by family and friends
Remember when
Remember when our first grand was born, and you held his face, a soft embrace and smiled at me, so lovingly...and i thought this is all that i lived for
Remember when
Remember the happy times, the hard times, the lovely times, the heartfelt times
Remember when i told you the day i met you...that i would love you...forever
Remember when you told me, after holding me, that you would leave me...never
Remember when
Remember
I do
Without rhythm or rhyme
Meet me at our secret place
In the caverns of my mind
I promise, there, you will remember

A Changing of Habits...

My daily routine:
Blaming you for this...
And for that
Tired of YOU making me so freaking sad and angry

Time to take responsibility for me
No more blaming you for me and what I do
The only one ever to blame...
No matter the circumstance
Is me.

A BEDTIME THOUGHT

Asleep I fall with you on mind
Your love guiding
Leading me on
To dreams of sweetness

Asleep I fall with you on mind
My love guiding me to your side
perfecting your dreams

You make me smile
You warm my soul
The little things you do makes me happy.

~Sparkle~

Morning Wood

Dreams of us caress my roots

Like mist rising from my rich brown earth

Fertile soil for my sensual imaginings

Pearls of dew teaming with life

Steaming with moist heat fueled by thoughts of you

Like glistening confetti scattered about the dark grass

As a new day hesitates beyond the horizon

I hear your voice calling my name

It’s light enough to see the wood

It’s dark enough for hide and seek

As your words caress me deep within

In this blissful and unexpected role reversal

I am the earth giving rise to the wood

You are the sun bringing my seed to explosive fruition

As your voice sends a warm shiver down my spine

Good morning baby

I love you too

Peace and Love,

Alizé

Poem and Photo: Copyright © 2008 Xavier Pierre Jr. All rights reserved.

Babylon

I'm leaving Baghdad tomorrow
For home.
I joined the Marines, for I am a patriot
And had bad grades in high school.
But my lieutenant says I'm leaving Baghdad tomorrow.
But the bank's took dad's home, so were am I going to sleep?
Can't go to college...I got a girl pregnant before Parris Island.
They used to call this place Babylon a long time ago.
So am I it's slave, like the Israelites of old?

--CAC

The Last Time

7:35

She was already 35 minutes late. She's never late, if anything she is irritatingly early. She is smothering and smouldering. The only thing that's kept me slightly interested in her for the past few months is the carnal energy that she brings to the bedroom. Even toe curling orgasms can't erase the unease I feel by her constant drama and incessant neediness. 45 minutes late, maybe she knows this is the last time.

I am 33, she is 24. Her soap opera style life has been a series of mistakes and miscues which feeds her need for chaos. When we first met last spring I was taken by her spontaneity and sexuality. I can still smell the lilacs that hung over the outdoor bar where our lips first met within minutes of seeing each other across the dimly lighted deck. Within an hour we would be grinding violently against her car, skirt up to her waist. She was just the right remedy for a man rendered helpless by a recent divorce and loss of identity. I immediately got caught up in her chaotic lifestyle. Her mini-dramas kept me entertained and made me feel useful, a shoulder to lean on. Since my divorce most women took pity on me and listened to me whine and cry about losing my one true love and never feeling that again. I rewarded their pity by allowing them to erase my pain with passion and pleasure. At first I felt empowered, being the shoulder to lean on. Now I just want her to go find another shoulder.

She knocked lightly on the door and I let her in. She had brought over a bottle of wine which she put on the kitchen counter. I led her to the bedroom and threw her down. I figured that I would make the last time as memorable as possible so I could easily recall the evening when I was lonely, without company. She, with no prompting, took off her clothes leaving on her purple camisole and pantie combo. Her skin was a creamy white which was such a contrast from the golden tan she had that first night against her car. She was going to Cancun in a week with some friends so the tan would be back. When she gets back I'll be gone.

We started in slow as usual. I love to tease women. They are so used to men being instantly aroused and desperate to get inside, that when a man is slow and deliberate it inspires them to new heights. As I eased slowly inside, I felt at home. Her familiar taste and smell was comforting and for a few minutes I forgot that I would never be in this position looking at her again. I got to the brink and backed off. She thought of this as more teasing and pulled me in, tighter; I was just trying to prolong my own pleasure. We moved effortlessly from front to back and to the side in a dance that we had done so many times over the past ten months that it might appear choreographed to someone watching. When she shuttered and pulsed her muscles, pulling me in as deep as possible, I could no longer hold back. I lay on her, exhausted, propped up slightly on my elbows as not to crush her with my full weight. I could still feel her pulsing as I was still inside. I would miss this feeling of control and conquest. I would not miss her.

I got up to get some water and clean up. When I returned to the bedroom she was getting dressed. "Where are YOU going?" I asked with a hint of sarcasm. "I told you that this was going to be a quicky, I have to go to my friend Stephanie's, her boyfriend just broke up with her and I am the only one she can talk to." Co-dependant, crazy drama. "Oh, yeah, I forgot". I had become so exhausted trying to figure out what was real drama and what was manufactured that I just started tuning out everything she said. "I'll give you a call later, or tomorrow". "I'm going to bed early, so make it tomorrow" I said with a yawn at the end for emphasis. "Are you OK?" she asked as if a light bulb had just appeared over her head. "Better than ever" I said smugly. "Are you sure?" she said. Please don't stay I thought, hoping that she would not pick up on my elation. "I'm fine, go to your friend, sounds like she needs you". "OK, see you soon" she seemed placated, redirected toward helping her friend. I kissed her on the forehead and she headed down the hallway. I watched her wiggle until she went out the front door. I went over to the window and watched her get into her car. The snow was falling lightly in big, giant flakes that danced slowly to the pavement. I was tempted to open the window and say something to her, but knew that there was nothing more to say.

I sauntered over to my refrigerator and got out a Guinness. It felt like Opening Day or hearing the ocean first thing in the morning. I sat on my sofa and turned on my lap top. I checked my itinerary.

No changes.

All systems go.

i don't know what to do

i don't know what to do

but i am nervous

exchanging numbers are what i want

to do with you

like exchanging hearts

so we can keep in touch

and oh yet, butterflies inside

i don't know how or when

but all i know is that i'm taking my chances in

my pockets

and go with my own flow

seeing what will happen

cos i really like you so.....

~

©2008 Kai C