BUT STILL...

Of course I knew that sooner or later you’d call.
I was simply hoping that just this once, your need for me
might show up faster than your want for me.

Oh I know, “there I go again, tripping off of things that don’t matter”.

But still,

I can’t seem to help it.
I imagine a world in which the unimaginable is the reality.
A world in which I am needed in your world, not just wanted.
A world where I am necessary, a requirement, the cog without which the machinery that is you can’t function.

Oh I know, “Being wanted is a great thing!”

but still,

the thought of being an integral part of your program,
of playing a role so critical the show can’t work in my absence,
of being the opinion without which your thoughts simply can’t be sorted…
Hypnotizes me and creates this chasm between happiness over being wanted by you
and despair over my lack of necessity in your world.

AND, that keeps us so far apart.

Oh I know all this, but still…


© Sharon J. All Rights Reserved 2008

TRAVELS

Our future was held in the palms of your hands

our tickets to discover amazing new lands.

It became apparent not long from the start

that a Love explorer didn't dwell in your heart.

The thrill of the journey, YOU -- did not excite.

The peaks of Love's mountains, lost in the valleys of fights.

Oceans became gulfs, separating our hearts;

their waters always choppy, keeping us apart.

On the rivers and streams of Love's wondrous world,

we never flowed smoothly but seemed to be hurled

from one bank to the other until broken and bruised

we emerged from Love's waters, barely surviving our cruise.

Love's deserts -- no fascination for you could provide.

Endless sand, drought, and thirst were all you derived.

Never seeing the potential of this fluid-deprived land,

you couldn't imagine the castles we could have built in the sand.

The light of Love's sun placed her kiss on your face,

but you ignored this gift that you could have embraced.

A gift so few get, you cursed as too soon,

but Love continued to try, and sent you her moon.

She provided soft light to follow you around

so you could see all the beauty Love had allowed to abound.

She rationed her light to display beauteous advantage

but a nod of appreciation you just never could manage.

But STILL Love maintained; her goals still not reached,

she had found a hurt heart, and she wanted to teach.

So Love gathered her strength and all of her might

because Love NEVER gives up when she knows she is right.

So Love continued to send her wonders your way

showing you more and more beauty with each passing day.

She sent flowers each morning and starlight at night

always anticipating your need to take flight.

Love showed her patience, her presence steadfast

Love wanted you to know she would not leave; she would last.

Love sent fragrance you could smell, and textures to feel

So you could easily recall Love's strong appeal.

Love came from above, below, and around

Love did ALL in her power, YOU, to surround.

Love decided to keep you in her warm embrace

And planned to take you to her special place.

Where you'd be enchanted by all of her charms

Love planned to encircle you in the warmth of her arms.

There, nothing could touch you but Love's protective hand

Which would be yours for the taking, no need for demand.

In return for all this, Love asks one small favor

that your heart just receive her and enjoy all her flavors.

Race up her mountains and know that the valleys below,

Hold their very own wonders, and don't hesitate to go

across Love's dry deserts where great things can be built

and sail Love's great oceans, and enjoy to the hilt

Love's rivers and streams which may toss you around

but somehow she places you back on firm ground.

Bask in Love's sun and play naked in her moon

understanding when one leaves the other returns soon.

Remember Love is kind, not boastful or proud

but don't make the mistake of thinking that Love won't get loud.

Because Love knows when she's right, and will stand, and WILL FIGHT

hanging on to what matters with all of her might.

Love is patient and forgiving and will not stand in your way

if you decide the best thing for you, is walking away.

Love and the wonders of her world are yours for the taking.

Love brings only honesty and has no time for faking.

Love can't be what she's not, but she comes with great power

that will be there for you always, every minute and hour.

Simply reach out to Love and yours she will be;

let Love into your life and set yourself free.

Regrets, there'll be some, and joys, so many more,

but you have to reach out and open Love's door.

With her tenacity and diligence, Love has found you at last.

Now let her soothe and heal the wounds of your past.

Love has finally found you, after a lifetime it seems;

so relax and just bask in the glow of love's beams

© Sharon J. All Rights Reserved 2008

2am

The loudest quiet ever is 2am.
When you’re lying there;
eyes squeezed shut, wishing
the phone would ring. Wishing
you were not in bed alone. Wishing
2am was not so loud that it kept keeping you awake.

The brightest darkness occurs at 2am.
When dazzling light appears;
from behind your eyelids shining
so brightly you can’t sleep. Shining
the dull façade of heartache. Shining
the dark of night to the glare of noon, keeping you awake.

The most enthusiastic sadness happens at 2am.
When despair captures you;
and visits upon you its willing
victim, tears and fears. Willing
you to wallow in sorrow. Willing
you to relinquish optimism and hope while keeping you awake.

Hold on…with the morning comes renewal.

© Sharon J. All Rights Reserved 2008