A Prayer from So-Cal

L.A. Doxology
by Christopher Chambers, 2008
Lord,
Forgive me for all my pettiness and perversions,
For there is someone more petty and perverted than I
And I pay her alimony and child support each month.
Show me the grace to go to a bookstore
Walk past my ghostwritten memoir and those written
by the child stars and black video vixens about me,
And guide me to the dictionary so I may look up the words
"Empathy" and "justice."
Grant me the courage to admit that I only like Hip Hop because of invitations
to Diddy's parties,
And to understand that Diddy's really a clown of our creation anyway,
And I hate African Americans, and it's a myth that Mexicans are selfless hard workers.
Look at my maid and garder's kids and you'll kow why.
This I ask in Jesus' name,
Though I'm a Jew from the Valley
But have to pitch this redneck Christian Baptist reality show
to Country Music Television based on "The Surreal Life"
In an hour and there's no way I can make it on the I-10 in time
Unless you give my gas-guzzler wings.
Amen


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