Thursday, June 5, 2008

She's Back

“Daddy, I’m depressed.” It was my friend reaching out to me. I’ve know her for almost a year. Back in January, she called me one day and said, “Zay, you know how I say you are like my Daddy? Well I was wrong, you ARE my Daddy.” I was speechless as she continued, “And when I get married, I want you to give me away.”
All I could say was “wow!” My friend has been through a lot. Is still going through a lot, and she really needs a Dad. So when she said she was depressed I ask, “What’s wrong hon?”
After a heavy sigh, “I’m tired all the time, my apartment is dirty, junk all over the place, sink full of dishes, dirty clothes all over the place, the clean clothes I washed two weeks ago hasn’t been put away yet, and I’m binge eating.”
I comfort her as only I can, and we make plans to have lunch the next day and a daddy/daughter date next Friday. After we get off the phone, I realize that in describing her symptoms, she could have easily been talking about me. Damn, here we go again...


Depression

I really hate it when you come unannounced
You ain’t got no decency, not even an ounce
I hardly even know you, just your first name
And you in my bed, no shame in your game
Touching me like you own me, bitch please!
If I listen to you, you’ll have me on my knees
Bad enough you coming around my job
Stealing as much of my time as you can rob
Distracting me when I got so much to do
Go away, can’t you see I got no use for you?
Don’t wait for me to come home from work
Can’t you see you driving me berserk?
I don’t want to be with you, OKAY!
You can’t fuck worth a damn anyway
All you know how to do is suck me dry
And while I lay there, tell me lie after lie
I already have a woman of my very own
Damn you bitch just leave me the fuck alone!
Pack you bags, shake a leg and get stepping
Stop smiling like that, that shit isn’t helping
You think it’s funny that my life is on hold?
I have so much to do before I’m too old
But you don’t care about that or about me
You just want to have me selfishly
Stop trying to convince me, it’s no use
I’m sick of you and I’m sick of your abuse
Just get the fuck out my bed and be gone
Find some other poor sucker to lean on
Put your clothes on and get out of my sight
I already told you, we ain’t fucking tonight
Okay, I’ll lie down but don’t get it twisted
In the morning I’ll wish I had resisted
You win tonight but you’re not here to stay
I have hope because tomorrow is another day




Peace and Love,

Ali’s Zay

Text and Photo: Copyright © 2008 Xavier Pierre Jr. All rights reserved.

3 comments:

Calder said...

To the core my friend, you have strumed the heart strings here with this powerful piece, and the neg'd out photo, perfectly meshes with the poem. You rock friend!

Ali's Zay said...

@Calder: Sincere thank!

Peace and Love

Ali's Zay

CapCity said...

i admit i had to come back to this one after i was rested - cuz fatigue will that bitch right IN! ;-).... equal opportunity heffer that depression IS! good "catch", Brother Zay.