Wednesday, January 23, 2008

The Call

And there I stood.
Your words blew threw me like the wind through the broadside of an old barn.
You reached into my chest, pulled out my heart, dropped it on the ground and stepped on it on your way out our door.
And I
Was poured out
Like water on to sand.

He was your new thing, had a Bavarian machine and a few diamond rings.
You told me how much bigger and better he was than me and how he
fulfilled you.
Our happy home was boring and you were too young to be tied down to one tired old dude.
So you were off to see the wizard. Get your kicks on Route 66.

Your exit opened the door to hell.
Flames of pain licked and taunted me with the barbs of your laughter and your words.
My fleshed burned from inside out as a result of the nuclear wasteland you left inside of me.
Fallout.
Radioactive.
Vaporizing tears as they crept out of ducts,
Denying me the smallest, most basic release.

Sleep no longer claimed it knew me, abandoning me as if I had betrayed its deepest secret.
Appetite joined the exodus, depositing lost pounds in the toilet love had become.
Agony moved in and made itself comfortable, bringing friends and relatives of heartache, despair,
Sorrows and no-cares.
And something within me, deep within me, bent, broke and ever so slowly, slowly,
Died.

So there I existed rather than lived, decomposing into putrefaction,
Shunned by the world.
Didn't notice.
Didn't care.
George Romero my father,
The walking dead.

But in the ash and ruin of Mt. St. Helen
A blade of grass eventually, defiantly, struggles to the surface
and breathes.
The once thought lost main frame
Reboots.
And I,
Regenerate
Because there is something that heals all wounds.
And it is on my side.

The rain falls,
Washing me,
Cleansing me,
Refreshing me,
Renewing me,
And I,
INHALE!

As life slowly grows in me.

It's not my time to die
I realize
And start to live the life given to me,
Surviving the holocaust given to me,
Erasing the red ink deficit of pain,
Investing and saving and growing in me to be free,
Getting back to way past zero.

Having made it through, the burning Saharan sands,
Having had death lick me,
To unbelievably find something tastier elsewhere.
Miracled out of emotional paraplegia,
I rise.
I walk
To the insistent phone
Hear your choked voice
From the other side of midnight
Wanting to come home

He left you,
For a new thing
With a Bavarian machine
And a few diamond rings...



Hosea 2

©SojournerG 2008 All rights reserved

10 comments:

Mega Rich said...

You ended with my favorite lines in the whole piece.

He left you,
For a new thing
With a Bavarian machine
And a few diamond rings...


Well said.

Sojourner G said...

@Rich-High praise from the empressario!
Thanks!

nikki said...

wonderfully done!

this poem reminds me of that song by journey lovin', touchin', squeezin' cuz the song talks about how his girl left him for someone else and how end the end that cat turned and did the same to her. the lyrics weren't nearly as poetic as this here, but the sentiment is the same.

Mizrepresent said...

G, one of my favorites...yeah...NEW THING...rolling my eyes!

Femigog said...

G.
I have been in hibernation mode until I read this poem (so very karmic and cyclical) and wondered when it was that I told you this story about me and (insert-name here).

I do have to say that the chapter of Hosea you referenced did not appeal to me altogether. Perhaps it is because the Pagan female seemed too familiar or maybe because in that chapter it seems as if female self preservation is labeled whoredom and thusly condemns the children of that woman, leaving her house tainted in perpetuity.
Only when she has been degraded by both her lovers and then her God is she once again worthy---I had a difficult time relating the scripture to the poem. Maybe it is the kinship I feel with the heathen woman....at any rate
Your work always make me think.
This piece was powerful

Sojourner G said...

@Nikki(Blog BFF)-It seems I have a knack for reminding you of things. We both better start scratchin around and see if there is something too these messages from the universe! LOL

@Pahtnah-Yeah...the more things change, the more they stay the same. I dunno much about what most people call Karma, but momma taught me about what goes around coming back around!

@Fem-I can always count on you to pass the surface and go right to the core of the universe.

I know that one of your issues with the scriptures is that it seems women are villified, but someone as astute as you knows that this scripture is a metaphor for God's relationship between He and His people. It is the people as a whole that play the role of the harlot and it is He that is unwaivering in his committment to them despite their wanton ways.

You'll recall that David was guilty of this crime and worse and he was termed "a man after God's own heart." He was sorely punished for his deeds, yet God still loved Him too.

Without getting to a debate about the role of women in the scriptures (and there are PLENTY of positives), I'll merely point out that women AND men have both been chastized AND elevated throughout the scriptures.

The use of Hosea as it relates to this particular piece is designed to imply that the protagonist took her back. That's forgiveness and self sacrificing love. That is the point of the message in Hosea.

You do sharpen my iron young lady!

MysTery said...

*applause!*

'And I
Was poured out
Like water on to sand.'

'Appetite joined the exodus, depositing lost pounds in the toilet love had become.'


Get it!!!

Sharon said...

But in the ash and ruin of Mt. St. Helen
A blade of grass eventually, defiantly, struggles to the surface
and breathes.
The once thought lost main frame
Reboots.
And I,
Regenerate
Because there is something that heals all wounds.
And it is on my side.


-Having just been here, done this I am ever so grateful this phenomenon exists. Once again, writing teaches me the universal lesson that most every experience I've had or will have is universal.

As it has happened so many times before I once again find me in the writings of others. Memorable for sure!

BloggersDelight said...

"Miracled out of emotional paraplegia,
I rise."

Miracles are the greatest gifts. We are always Delighted when you share yours here, Sojourner G.

Sojourner G said...

@Mystery-Thanks sis!

@Sharon-Thank you for sharing. As the saying goes, "There's nothing new under the sun." We are a people who have much in common.

@BD-As always, grateful the opportunity and the community.