Hello,
It doesn't matter what my name is
I'm just here to admit
That I'm a junkie, a head,
Just a plain old addict
You may wonder how
I got into this mess
After all I've been through
I guess it's time to confess
My desire we'll call Pusher
Made a deal with me
Said "I'll take you to heaven
And I'll do it for free"
At first I resisted
For integrity I seek
But lust showed it's secrets
And I became weak
Pusher cinched up my arm
Told me to tap the main vein
Needle pierced my moral skin
Drug hit my blood like a train
That's how she affected me
And how she got her name
Doesn't matter what they call her
She's Ecstasy, Smoke, Cocaine
She took me to the sky
Showed me every delight
Nothing was out of bounds
Felt so good and so right
Too soon it was over
But she promised me more
I mortgaged all I had
To make one more score
Every chance I got
I took her main line
Snorted, tooted, freebased
Injected till I went blind
I rarely made it home
Was in trouble on the job
Lost perspective on everything
Now an emotional slob
At first just "a thing"
Wanted to see what it was like
So good I became hooked
Now she's ruined my life
Sometime she can't see me
Has a husband at home
Trying to serve God
Needs to leave me alone
But she keeps coming back
Keeps me on a short chain
Every time I try to break
Pusher yanks me back again
It takes more to get less now
I'm on the verge of losing all
Don't know which pain is worse
When she does or doesn't call
So I'm trapped in this loop
Of paranoia and lust
Gotta get back to real life
Just can't seem to adjust
An emotional hostage
To the Pusher I know
I've tried to get away
Just don't know how to let go
So here I stand
Trapped like a caged rabbit
Admitting to the group
That I'm just a "her" addict
James 1:14-15
©SojournerG 2008 All rights reserved
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8 comments:
Dude! You had me from the title. I'm feeling this like I'm feeling the skin I live in, flashbacks of sweat running down the center of my back and all. GREAT piece! See you soon on Duets.
Peace and Love,
Alizé (LoversA.blogspot.com)
PS: April is Sexual Assault Awareness Month (SAAM). I am PASSIONATE about this issue and I’m determined to do my part to help educate as many people as possible. Please join me in spreading the word. Sexual violence must stop!
WHo da pushaman? lol, i loved it...feening are we?
@Zay-Speak on it son! It's a place you don't fully realize you're in until the pain comes.
@Pahtnah-ROFL!!!
If one must be addicted,,,
Very Lovely and FELT...
angelia
Never having been addicted to drugs but to oh so many other things that in their own ways were just as bad for me, I must concur on the profound-ness of this entry...Lord willing, the next time I'm addicted, it will be to something so very good for me that in my most rational state of mind I would refuse to live without it!!!
As always, you've reached out and touched this someone ;)
drugs are bad
i dont do drugs.lol
good stuff
Who's ur drug of choice?
@Angelia-Aww bless ya heart shuga.
@Sharon-Sage words as always. There are some addictions that surely are the sweetest, most rewarding things.
@Dejanae-That's right li'l ma. Just say no to drugs! LOL
What very insightful questions you do ask. LOL
damn Man who's that lady. good thing I am a woman and will not have to come across her and her doings. Great write
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