Monday, September 7, 2009

Reflections ... on Loss & Luv...


This year, 2009 has been filled with a great DEAL of loss: quite a few celebrities & public figures, some family members & blog/internet family. I tend to lead a solitary existence - sometimes I choose this isolation because I think it'll make it easier because I won't experience the pain of losing loved ones if I don't "have" loved ones. I'm discovering that even choosing to live life behind the electronic curtain does not protect the heart. When Nikki passed & I discovered I was actually disturbed by it I became frightened at the prospect of losing Blog/Internet "family" who I have actually developed a real life relationship with and truly grown close to.

At the same time, being the conundrum that I am, I love people and am quite a social being. I've finally re-opened my heart to Love on a variety of levels: self-love, friendships, romance, even reaffirming family connections. I'm learning that it's the LOSS of Love that hurts - not the actual LOVING of others. Life without Love - as the "cliche" goes: really is not worth living.

Reflections are a funny thing... I had no idea this post would lead me to the renewal of Love. But, I guess there is No Loss if there is No Love. Hmm, that's deep. I need to go reflect on that a bit more. Peace, Blessings & MUCH Luv 2 U!

4 comments:

CareyCarey said...

Hello, that post was deep on many levels. I 've also become comfortable in my space, alone with me. But yet, the pursuit of love never leaves me. If you don't mind, the following is were it took me. It speaks to what you were saying.

Is Love Gone?

Within the shadows of your smile,
I too have memories.
Good memories
You sheltered me
You covered me
You are my rock.
I too have tears.
A home is in the heart
You shut the door Yesterday, how many yesterdays?
I cry for yesterday.
I too think of tomorrow
Is love like yesterday?
Is it gone forever
Or just out of season
After the cold of winter
Can it spring back?
Shattered dreams, yet I dream
A flicker of hope
I miss you
You've been gone
Will you come back
Is love gone?
Will I
Can I
Love again?

Mizrepresent said...

Cap,

i truly feel you...death, esp, sudden death makes us pause and think. I have built some really good relationships across the blogsphere, some closer than fam, so to lose a loved one whether they be friend or fam...is still a lost. And yes you are right it only feels like a lost, if you have first loved. Glad to see you back at it gurl.

Femigog said...

Thoughtful post. Thanks for sharing it.

CapCity said...

Thanx, Carey2! Glad it moved you to create (or share what U've created:-)

Thanx, Miz - I KNOW YOU hear me! & u know I'll continue to dabble in the blog-o-sphere long as it's here;-)

U r MORE than welcomed, Sistah Femigog! Glad U liked it, thanx! :-)